A rule of life supports ongoing relationships in community. It is a set of practices that defines relationships with ourselves, with God, and with one another. The desert fathers and mothers in the early church wrote extensive rules for their communities that placed God at the center and set the rhythm of their common life together.
One of the most well-known is the Rule of St. Benedict. The preface of the Rule of St Benedict begins in this way: Listen carefully, my son, to the master’s instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart. This is advice from a father who loves you; welcome it, and faithfully put it into practice. The foundation of the rule is sharing and listening rooted in love. We might translate this today as the invitation for communities to gather and listen to the elders, to incline their hearts to mutual obedience. Both acts are ones of love)the act of sharing and the act of listening.
Families live this out by eating meals together. They tell stories about their day, seek advice, support one another, and discuss issues of local, national and global importance. And they laugh. These caring conversations bind a common life that deepens our love and understanding.
Every community lives by rules. While a true rule of life cannot be built by a specific number of rules, an explicit rule of life will add intentionality to the life of a community. Writing some portion of a rule will give participants the chance to step back and consider all aspects of common life and the practices that will nurture and support them.
The rule of St. Benedict balances works, study and prayer. A family rule of life should include these categories as well as play and self care. Having a rule of life provides an opportunity to look and see what needs to be re-balanced.
Consider challenging our youth group to establish a rule of life. It might not be as foreign to them as you might think. Group norms, which many youth groups already have, are a type of rule of life. Begin by reviewing group norms. What values do they reflect? Continue by listing activities that our youth group has engaged in over the past year. What does this say about what the community values? Are these the values by which you want to be known?
Debra Farrington, author and youth retreat leader, has identified eight categories to include in a rule of life: *Seeking God *Prayer *Work *Study *Spiritual community and worship *Care of our bodies *Reaching out to others *Hospitality.
While the life of our youth group might not include all these areas, you might list them and ask the group to consider which areas they want to explore and what practices they want to take on or continue. Writing a rule of life together will guide the group in making decisions about how they spend time. In the end, a rule of life is primarily a yearning for right relationship.